apologies

so sorry I've been MIA lately...our internet at home went out after a storm LAST WEEK and we haven't been able to get it up and running again. We have a bunch of other crap to take care of too so I won't be back for a week or so.

Kids, be good while I'm gone!!

FYI

I will be changing my URL in the near future. Not sure what just yet. I just need a change!

Good Advice

sorta.

http://odboland.blogspot.com/



And Heather, somebody is competing with your Bitchy Mondays.

Check out Half-Nekkid Thursdays.

speedo!

this guy really likes his swimsuit. and red shirts.

Guilty as Charged

So I was reading The Stiltwalker's blog (via a link on heather's blog).

The Stiltwalker will probably never visit my blog for various reasons to be mentioned below.

In case you are too lazy to click the link and see her blog, I have listed her blogging observations and my violations of unspoken blogging rules.

1. A lot of people either don’t care or just can’t type. And for the record if you make too many grammatical errors I won’t read often if at all. I’ve spent too many long hours as an editor to brush erroneously bad writing under the rug. It would be kinda like immoral.
I can type but I don't really care.
2. Some people have their personal pics as their profile pics. And I must suggest find another image ASAP. GUILTY!
3. Even worse, some of these same people talk in their blogs about how HOT they are and etc., when you’re like “do you honestly believe that I believe you’re getting that much anus?.” N/A
4. And even worse, these people are usually the ones that have a zillion and 4 pics of themselves posted all over the place. Geesh. N/A
5. Blogger fucks up on the regular. agreed
6. There seems to be a large amount of e-crotchal activity. N/A
7. Tags suck. Period. I mean someone will tag you and then expect for you to post that shit ASAP. Calm down. I don't fully know what tags are. if they are links to your blog, then yes I am guilty of that.
8. There are a handful of people I’ve noticed that rarely update but will comment the sheer hell out of everyone else’s posts. Somewhat guilty
9. There’s not a lot of originality. Just the other day I read one person’s post, then I read a “friends” post. And it was the same style and everything. Now some ideas are good and I can see them being infectious, but damn. GUILTY
10. I can think of like 3 or 4 people right now who ‘deliver’ every single post, every single time. Effortlessly. NOT ME
11. I can think of like 8 or 9 people who need to hang themselves or OD, either way get the fuck off the internet with that boring, empty shit. Probably ME
12. Seriously though there are some ugly people who use the internet as a catalyst. I can’t get over how someone will talk pure-d-shit on their blogs but then you look at them and you’re like ugh, gross. (ok no more ugly references) N/A
13. As I have rarely ever pre-written something for a specific post, I wonder how many people do and how often? Only if I don't have time to finish. guilty.
14. Does doing so discredit the function of a blog or blogging? I don't think so. Who says it has to be spontaneous?
15. This is perhaps the most addictive thing since stuffed crust pizza (and penis). Blogging? sure.
16. I’m still waiting for a juicy e-fight/battle. Any takers? I’m down! Now that I think about it, maybe I’ll just start one. Like this shit. I’m just saying though. Bias rules, I guess. Ditto.
17. I really need one of those paypal logos. Y’all can fund my existence fo’ sho. I'm not that desperate. But I'd be lying if I said I've never thought about it.
18. Why do people create blogs then decide to use discretion in what they post because their ex, current, granny, boss, parole officer is reading it? Please explain that one. I like my job.
19. Templates bitches, templates. I can honestly say mines is trash right now but it isn't illegible or otherwise hard to navigate. I suggest people save the blinky, twinkly affects for myspace. It's just irritating and even if noone states so, they don't like looking at it. I promise. Blinkies Suck.
20. Stop emailing me asking if I want to date you. The answer is no. Damn.
21. And for the record I despise "I'm bipolar" and/or "the man is keeping me down" blogs and any intermediateness thereof. I read those. Guilty!

Well, I admit my life is pretty boring and seldom do I have anything truly Blogworthy. But I need something to keep my WPM high and this fits the bill. Meh.

Stinky has changed her mind about the pool. It's all good if there is a flotation device and some dog cookies involved.




















i think blogger is having a format issue. sorry!

What is your soundtrack?

Somebody posed this question a few days ago...I'm still thinking and will post mine eventually. What is the soundtrack to your life??

Opening credits: coldplay - don't panic
Average day: travis - sing
First date: jimmy eat world - work
Love scene: jets to brazil - sweet avenue
Breaking up: Jewel - foolish games
Getting back together: matthew sweet - i've been waiting
Life's okay: semisonic - made to last
Driving: billie holiday - the very thought of you
Learning a lesson: third eye blind - wounded
Partying: folk implosion - natural one
Happy dance: gypsy kings - zorba the greek
Regreting: mazzy star - fade into you
Long night alone: travis - blue light flashing
Death scene: dandy warhols - sleep
Closing credits: snow patrol - run

i'm going to fill mine in as they come to me. post yours!!

Meh

I know, I know, I haven't been blogging. I've been wicked busy at work lately and truthfully not too much is going on. FYI: The scoreboard has been updated to reflect our latest juvenile casualty.

I know I posted a while ago about bathroom weekend. While I knew that it would take more than a weekend to accomplish everything, I didn't know it'd take this long. This weekend is more of a real bathroom weekend. I finished the cabinets and hardware yesterday (yay). This weekend will be major painting time.

I know you all don't care about my stupid bathroom. That's okay, I'll come up with some drama later. On saturday we have a lunch date with Evan's boss...anything related to Evan's boss usually has good stories along with it.

Until then, happy fridays to everybody!

Just a few questions, Ma'am.

Yesterday we met with some police officers regarding the incident mentioned below. They asked us some questions, gathered up our evidence and got our contact info. Today at work I got a message saying I needed to call Officer Anderson. Ok. I dial him up and he says he has a few questions for me. Personal questions. So they can contact me in case I don't stay employed there. Suuuure.

Officer Anderson: What's your birthday?
Me: August 26, 1981
Officer Anderson: What is your height and weight?

__confused pause__

Me: um, five-foot-five, a hundred and fifteen pounds. (blush)
Officer Anderson: It's okay to lie about that.
Me: But that really IS my height and weight. I don't see how this is relevant to anything...
Officer Anderson: It doesn't really matter. I have to fill in the blanks. They don't like empty spaces on these forms. What's your phone number?

At this point I feel like the next question will be "What movie do you want to see this weekend? Will you have my babies?" Luckily he was satisfied with a phone number and address. No I will not post that.

Maybe this is why I really try to avoid police.

My Tree

OK I better explain my front yard scoreboard located on the left. My husband and I just bought our first house in June. We closed June 16 and moved in the friday after that. On saturday, our toilet overflowed and all the drains were slow. Welcome to homeownership!

What does this have to do with a tree?


A few phone calls, a day and a plumber later, we found out that the ginormous tree in our front yard has crushed our sewer pipe. The bad news? We have to pay for it. The good news? None.




Not only is the tree perilously located next to our foundation and roofline, but the canopy pretty much covers the entire house, front yard and driveway. This results in all sorts of things littering down: bird poo, bird nests, bird poo, bird eggs, bird poo, baby birds, bird poo, and leaves. I don't know if the birds were given an extra dose of stupid but they seem to fall out of their nests a lot. They cannot be placed back in their nests given the height of said nests and sheer number of them that are in the tree. Fifty million at last count.



I came across this sign on campus the other day. Perhaps somebody is trying to tell me something. I'm starting to think there is an avian conspiracy; somebody please intervene if I admit that I hear them talking to me.

And this is the saga of my front yard. The scoreboard keeps tally of me vs nature. Yes, mother nature may be winning now...but the score is about to be evened. For fear of my aging roofline and foundation, the tree is about to meet it's maker.



Stay tuned for updates. Things are about to get shaken up around here!

Dear Jay

I just saw your comments, I never would have known that J Sorel is Jay from http://makejayfamous.blogspot.com/ because your profile is not available to view. Call me crazy, but if you want to be famous and need exposure, it might help your cause to activate that feature.

Just Sayin'!

Good luck on your quest for fame.

Fraud

My boss just got back from a week's vacation. While she was gone, one of my undergrad's (we'll call him #1 because i have 2 of them) timecards was due to the timesheet lady. I know better than to piss off the timesheet lady so #1 calls her and asks if its OK if I sign his sheet in my boss's absence. Even though I'm his supervisor, her money pays him so that is why she typically signs off.

Tangent: for those of you who don't know, researchers are paid by grants. Even though I am on staff at a large university, the university itself does not pay my salary; grants do. So if my boss starts slacking and we run out of money, I run out of employment. The boss writes big long grant proposals, committees decide yay or nay, and then we get money. Usually these are from the state or federal government.

So I glance at the timecard and sign it. Happy friday, lets go home!

Fast-forward to monday morning: I hop into my boss's office to find out how her week off was. She tells me it was fun, yadda yadda. Then she says she got an email from the timecard lady saying I signed a timecard listing 40 hours for my undergrad. FORTY? He works less than 10 hours per week. Maybe it was a really messy 4.

So we call timecard lady. She says there are hours logged for monday, tuesday, weds, thursday and friday. Odd. #1 only came in on weds and friday. So my boss asks her to check the last timecard. Same thing. Except it has my boss' signature. Tons of hours. Interesting. More timecards; more scratched out 4's turned to 8's; fives added in pairs to give an easy 10 hours to add on. Fifteen faxes later, we find out he got paid for working 5 hours on Thanksgiving Day. Except that he didn't work Thanksgiving Day.

The good news is: his ass is grass. We have badges that get us into the building and into the labs because our building is uber-secure. IT can give us a print out of all his entry and exit times. You certainly can't work 40 hours when you are only in the building for 7 hours, right? I also have -in his handwriting- his actual hours worked that he wrote on a calendar in the lab.
The only major problem is that
A. he has already been paid. A lot. how will we get it back?
2. we didn't move into our uber-secure building until January. Which means that anything before that is his word vs our word. Except for Thanksgiving day. dumbass.

Not only is he abusing financial aid, but he is committing fraud. Because he is paid with Federal money, the police will be involved. He can be expelled. The list of bridges he's burnt is extensive.

I can't believe he'd do such a thing. I feel betrayed and extremely disappointed by this. I've known people before who take money that isn't theirs; but I didn't particularly like those people to begin with. When they stole $$, it merely solidified my low opinion of them. But this kid, he was a good kid, or so I thought. He seemed eager to learn; a hard worker. I don't think he has a clue about the depth of what he's done.

That's all that has really happened today. I think it's enough.